On Leading With Intention
Lead By Example, March 2025
📌 ON LEADING WITH INTENTION📌 EXAMPlE 01. "HURTING" MOMENTUM 📌 EXAMPLE 02. LEANING INTO VULNERABILITYON LEADING WITH INTENTION
A few weeks ago, I watched a video with a message I keep coming back to: Assume positive intent. Simple, right? When we genuinely believe that people are doing their best, tough moments or hard conversations feel less like battles to win and more like opportunities to understand. The video explained that when we assume good intent, it’s easier to get to the heart of an issue instead of being sidetracked by perceived motivations—I couldn’t agree more.
But here’s the thing—while assuming positive intent is powerful, it’s also a lot of work. I’m sure we can all think of a moment when we were up our ladder, convinced we knew exactly why someone did what they did. It takes practice and awareness to catch ourselves in these stories… and even more discipline and skill to talk ourselves out of them.
As leaders, expecting people to just know where we’re coming from puts the burden on them to fill in the blanks. And when those blanks get filled with fear, doubt, or past experiences, we risk misalignment—and withdrawals from our emotional bank accounts.
The takeaway? Our job as Elevaters isn’t to hope people assume the best in us—it’s to make it easy for them to do so. We do that by over-communicating our intent, especially in the moments that matter—when we’re setting expectations, expressing a vision, giving feedback… the list goes on.
This month, we’re looking at ways to do exactly that. How can we show up with more transparency, say what we mean, and create space for more trust and understanding?
EXAMPLE 01— "HURTING" MOMENTUM
The Situation
"I want to do a quick check-in—really, a reverse check-in—because I’d love some feedback on me. Lately, I’ve noticed that on a few key things, I may be slowing things down or pulling in a slightly different direction than the team.
I don’t know if it’s full misalignment, but I feel some tension. Sometimes that’s good—it pushes us to refine our thinking—but I also don’t want to create unnecessary friction.
So, I want to hear from you. Where do you feel I’m not in sync? Am I missing something, or is there something we need to work through together? I want to make sure we’re aligned and moving forward in the best way possible."
— ElevateCo Participant The Solution
We often talk about how healthy conflict is essential to building a functional team, but this example is a reminder that playing that role isn’t always easy—or enjoyable.
In this scenario, the team stepped in to reassure him that he was playing a critical role. They emphasized that his challenges were helping them reach better, more thoughtful outcomes.
Still, one team member offered a particularly useful perspective that I think is worth considering anytime we find ourselves in a position where we need to push back or share an alternative perspective.
They said, “One thing that could help you, as well as those around you, is to spend maybe 10% more time talking about what you’re for. In conversations, bring it back to what we’re trying to accomplish and why it matters to you. Instead of focusing on what’s missing or what shouldn’t happen, clarify what you want to create. That way, people see that you’re not pushing back just to push back—you’re working toward something better.”
It’s easy to assume others understand our intent, but when we don’t state it explicitly, people fill in the gaps themselves. Just like we connect feedback to our values, we can do the same in larger conversations. Naming what we’re optimizing for upfront fosters clarity—without requiring others to assume our best intentions.
EXAMPLE 02— LEANING INTO VULNERABILITY
The Situation / Solution
"So, we were trying to figure out how to get the team on board with our cleaning standards. We were just spitballing ideas, trying to find a way to make it stick.
Then, after stepping back and reflecting about it, we had a thought—what if we just try being vulnerable with them? Instead of yelling or lecturing, we could just tell them how it actually makes us feel when the space is a mess.
So we did. We told them, “Look, when things aren’t kept clean, we feel a lot of stress. Our boss is holding us responsible, but we can't do everything on our own. We need to work together.” And honestly? We saw a real improvement—within a day, things started shifting."The Takeaway
I loved this example and wanted to include it for a few key reasons. When we’re frustrated with others, it’s easy to react—but when we’re reacting, we’re usually not communicating our intentions effectively. Learning to catch ourselves in these moments before addressing an issue sets us up for success.
If these team members had chosen to lecture or yell, it would have created space for the other person to shut down, get defensive, or assume bad intent—none of which leads to results.
On the other hand, sharing the subjective impact—how they felt—can be a powerful way to communicate intent. When we express how we feel, we’re explaining why the conversation matters to us.
There’s a big difference between saying, “I feel stressed and need help” versus, “You need to do a better job.” The first is not only more vulnerable, but it also provides context.
And if we, as Elevaters, want to assume the positive intent of those around us, we can begin by believing that most of our colleagues genuinely want to support us and the team. Sharing how we feel—fairly and openly—can foster more support and connection.
Questions, comments, or have a situation you'd like support on? Leave a comment!