đ ON LEADING WITH INTENTIONđ EXAMPlE 01. "HURTING" MOMENTUM đ EXAMPLE 02. LEANING INTO VULNERABILITYON LEADING WITH INTENTION
A few weeks ago, I watched a video with a message I keep coming back to: Assume positive intent. Simple, right? When we genuinely believe that people are doing their best, tough moments or hard conversations feel less like battles to win and more like opportunities to understand. The video explained that when we assume good intent, itâs easier to get to the heart of an issue instead of being sidetracked by perceived motivationsâI couldnât agree more.
But hereâs the thingâwhile assuming positive intent is powerful, itâs also a lot of work. Iâm sure we can all think of a moment when we were up our ladder, convinced we knew exactly why someone did what they did. It takes practice and awareness to catch ourselves in these stories⊠and even more discipline and skill to talk ourselves out of them.
As leaders, expecting people to just know where weâre coming from puts the burden on them to fill in the blanks. And when those blanks get filled with fear, doubt, or past experiences, we risk misalignmentâand withdrawals from our emotional bank accounts.
The takeaway? Our job as Elevaters isnât to hope people assume the best in usâitâs to make it easy for them to do so. We do that by over-communicating our intent, especially in the moments that matterâwhen weâre setting expectations, expressing a vision, giving feedback⊠the list goes on.
This month, weâre looking at ways to do exactly that. How can we show up with more transparency, say what we mean, and create space for more trust and understanding?
EXAMPLE 01â "HURTING" MOMENTUM
The Situation
"I want to do a quick check-inâreally, a reverse check-inâbecause Iâd love some feedback on me. Lately, Iâve noticed that on a few key things, I may be slowing things down or pulling in a slightly different direction than the team.
I donât know if itâs full misalignment, but I feel some tension. Sometimes thatâs goodâit pushes us to refine our thinkingâbut I also donât want to create unnecessary friction.
So, I want to hear from you. Where do you feel Iâm not in sync? Am I missing something, or is there something we need to work through together? I want to make sure weâre aligned and moving forward in the best way possible."
â ElevateCo Participant The Solution
We often talk about how healthy conflict is essential to building a functional team, but this example is a reminder that playing that role isnât always easyâor enjoyable.
In this scenario, the team stepped in to reassure him that he was playing a critical role. They emphasized that his challenges were helping them reach better, more thoughtful outcomes.
Still, one team member offered a particularly useful perspective that I think is worth considering anytime we find ourselves in a position where we need to push back or share an alternative perspective.
They said, âOne thing that could help you, as well as those around you, is to spend maybe 10% more time talking about what youâre for. In conversations, bring it back to what weâre trying to accomplish and why it matters to you. Instead of focusing on whatâs missing or what shouldnât happen, clarify what you want to create. That way, people see that youâre not pushing back just to push backâyouâre working toward something better.â
Itâs easy to assume others understand our intent, but when we donât state it explicitly, people fill in the gaps themselves. Just like we connect feedback to our values, we can do the same in larger conversations. Naming what weâre optimizing for upfront fosters clarityâwithout requiring others to assume our best intentions.
EXAMPLE 02â LEANING INTO VULNERABILITY
The Situation / Solution
"So, we were trying to figure out how to get the team on board with our cleaning standards. We were just spitballing ideas, trying to find a way to make it stick.
Then, after stepping back and reflecting about it, we had a thoughtâwhat if we just try being vulnerable with them? Instead of yelling or lecturing, we could just tell them how it actually makes us feel when the space is a mess.
So we did. We told them, âLook, when things arenât kept clean, we feel a lot of stress. Our boss is holding us responsible, but we can't do everything on our own. We need to work together.â And honestly? We saw a real improvementâwithin a day, things started shifting."The Takeaway
I loved this example and wanted to include it for a few key reasons. When weâre frustrated with others, itâs easy to reactâbut when weâre reacting, weâre usually not communicating our intentions effectively. Learning to catch ourselves in these moments before addressing an issue sets us up for success.
If these team members had chosen to lecture or yell, it would have created space for the other person to shut down, get defensive, or assume bad intentânone of which leads to results.
On the other hand, sharing the subjective impactâhow they feltâcan be a powerful way to communicate intent. When we express how we feel, weâre explaining why the conversation matters to us.
Thereâs a big difference between saying, âI feel stressed and need helpâ versus, âYou need to do a better job.â The first is not only more vulnerable, but it also provides context.
And if we, as Elevaters, want to assume the positive intent of those around us, we can begin by believing that most of our colleagues genuinely want to support us and the team. Sharing how we feelâfairly and openlyâcan foster more support and connection.
Questions, comments, or have a situation you'd like support on? Leave a comment!