Stop Trying to Solve Problems
Lead By Example, April 2025
📌 STOP TRYING TO SOLVE PROBLEMS📌 EXAMPlE 01. ZOOMING OUT📌 EXAMPLE 02. ALIGNED LISTENINGSTOP TRYING TO SOLVE PROBLEMS
Over the weekend, I was walking my dog Lili through the park near my apartment. On one of the trails, we came across a woman—clearly in pain, blood on her face, clutching her arm. Her dog was trailing behind. She pleaded for help: “I think my arm is broken.”
In that moment, there was no choice but to act. I worked to secure her dog (Summer) and coordinate with Summer's trainer to meet us, while another park-goer called an ambulance. Slowly, we made our way to the nearest road, and about an hour later, she was in the ambulance heading to the hospital. (Don’t worry—I heard from her yesterday. She’s on the mend!)
I’m sharing this story because it’s the perfect example of a problem that needed to be solved—immediately. When something like that lands in your lap, you move. You don’t overthink. You (in this case, quite literally) just try to make the pain stop.
But here’s where I think we get tripped up: we apply that same instinct—fix it now, make it go away—to challenges that would benefit far more from vision than urgency.
The topic of goals has been coming up a lot in my cohorts lately. And while we all agree goals are a good thing, we rarely stop to examine how we define them. When asked, “What do you want?” many of us respond with what we don’t want:
I want fewer meetings.
I want less confusion.
I want to stop feeling burned out.
In other words, we want the pain to go away. Understandable—but that’s not the strongest version of a goal. It keeps us small, anxious, reactive. What if, instead, we defined our goals by what we want to create?
I want to feel energized by my calendar.
I want our team to move with clarity and purpose.
I want a sustainable rhythm that supports my well-being.
Those kinds of goals spark creativity. They remove tunnel vision. They invite others in.
So yes—some things just need to be handled. But when we have the chance, let’s pause and see if we can make the pivot from a focus on solving problems to a focus on creating visions.
This month’s examples explore goals—both macro and micro—and illustrate the power of setting clear, affirmative outcomes that everyone can align around.
EXAMPLE 01— ZOOMING OUT
The Situation
At the beginning of a recent team practice, one team member checked in with another, noting that his energy seemed markedly different since returning from a conference the week before.
The teammate appreciated the check-in and shared that he’d been reflecting quite a bit. Throughout the conference, nearly every conversation seemed to focus on what wasn’t working—roadblock after roadblock, all the reasons their previous plan was too difficult or unlikely to succeed. Being surrounded by that perspective had put him on his heels. By the time he got home, he found himself questioning the viability of their current path. For the first time, he was seriously considering whether the organization should pivot toward a simpler, less ambitious strategy.The Solution
The topic became ideal fodder for a full-team G.R.O.W. coaching session. Rather than jumping straight to solutions, the team spent the majority of their time on the first step: clarifying the goal. Blue-sky thinking was encouraged. What did success look like—not just for the next quarter or two, but over the longer horizon? What did they want to create?
As the conversation unfolded, it sparked a healthy, energizing debate. Each team member brought a different lens to what the true goal could—and should—be. Together, they navigated the tension between ambition and realism. And ultimately, what emerged wasn’t just a goal, but a shared vision. Something they could all get behind.
As they moved through the remaining steps of the G.R.O.W. framework—reality, options, and way forward—that clarity at the top shaped everything that followed. They revisited some of the conversations from the conference. Where had the skepticism been warranted? Where were people making assumptions the team didn’t have to accept? What parts of those roadblocks could actually be worked around or reimagined?
Drawing from past, transferable experiences, the team began identifying concrete, energizing next steps. Not just a response to what others said was possible—but a path that aligned with their own deeper conviction.
Having a clear, compelling vision gave them access to a different kind of creativity. One that wasn’t limited by what others in the industry saw as immovable constraints. Instead of shrinking their strategy to fit others’ doubts, they expanded their thinking—and their possibility set—by asking what they truly wanted to build.
EXAMPLE 02— ALIGNED LISTENING
The Situation
"There was someone on our team who there had been some tension with—clashing personalities, some unmet expectations. I decided I wanted to approach him about it with active listening, really give him a chance to share his side before I said anything. Let him empty the bucket.
But once he started, it turned into straight venting. He wasn’t really listening or responding to anything I offered. It just felt like a loop of negativity.
I’m curious—how do you handle that? Where’s the line between letting someone talk and not letting it spiral?"
—ElevateCo Participant The Solution
This is such a relatable situation, and I think it was a great instinct to lean into active listening as a first step. My suggestion to this Elevate participant was to first align on the goal of the conversation before allowing the other person to "empty their bucket."
Setting a shared goal upfront makes it easier to course-correct if the conversation starts to veer off track. For example, if the other person begins to vent endlessly, you can gently steer things back:
"I’m going to stop you for a second. I want us to focus on addressing issue XYZ. I do want to hear your perspective, but I think we’re getting off topic."
This kind of intervention helps keep the conversation productive.
Or, if the team member seems stuck in a pattern of focusing on what they don’t want, you can offer a gentle reminder:
"I’m trying to explore options to address XYZ, like we discussed. Are you still on board with that?"
Of course, we can’t control how others behave—but by setting clear expectations and a shared goal upfront, you give yourself a structure to either redirect or exit the conversation if it’s no longer solution-oriented. It’s about making sure active listening doesn’t spiral into unproductive negativity and stays focused on moving things forward.
Questions, comments, or have a situation you'd like support on? Leave a comment!
