One truth I’ve realized: most leaders don’t have anywhere to put the mess.
They’ve got peers they can vent to. They’ve got side conversations after the meeting. But when it comes to taking those tensions up the chain? The instinct is hesitation.
“I don’t want to look like I’m complaining.”
So instead, leaders hold it all. The frustrations. The competing priorities. The unsaid stuff. And they try to just…manage it.
The problem is, when there’s no outlet, the weight piles up.
A missing middle ground
We need a landing spot. A middle ground between “griping at the water cooler” and “making the formal case to your boss.”
That’s why our Elevate program works. It creates a container where leaders can walk in without answers. Bring the thing that feels raw, half-formed, or unresolved. Put it on the table.
It’s not about venting for the sake of venting. It’s about reframing tension into something useful. You don’t have to be polished. You don’t even have to know what the real problem is yet. That’s what the space is for—figuring it out together.
And there’s a bonus: when one person is willing to bring their tension, everyone learns. If you haven’t faced it yet, you will. So the shared practice pays off in compound interest.
Practice, not performance
Think of it like sports. Nobody shows up to practice with the expectation of being flawless. The expectation is: this is where you run the reps. This is where you try things, screw up, adjust, and build muscle memory.
In leadership, though? We’ve normalized being “in the game” 24/7. You’re always on. Always expected to perform. No wonder so many leaders feel like they’re underwater.
What’s missing is practice. An intentional environment where the goal isn’t perfection, it’s progress.
Why it matters
Because without it, tension doesn’t disappear. It leaks. Into back-channel conversations. Into cynicism. Into unproductive complaints that go nowhere.
But when the space is framed for growth, it changes everything. You can walk in with the messy middle and walk out with clarity, perspective, and a next step that actually moves the ball forward.
The bottom line
Leaders need a place to get messy. To test, to practice, to stumble, to build.
That’s not weakness. That’s the work.
Our In Practice section is where we share ideas and takeaways from the team practices Cohd runs every week with leaders and team members across industries. If you want to learn from those sessions, explore our latest In Practice posts:
Want more behind-the-scenes from our founder? Check out the latest from our ––HH section:
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