Stop Asking “Do You Need Anything?”—Ask This Instead
Two small shifts that make it easier for your people to tell you what they actually need.
As Elevaters, we want to support our people. We want to show up, give them what they need to succeed, and remove friction where we can. But even with the best intentions, there are barriers that get in the way.
If you’ve ever asked your team, “Do you need anything from me?” and been met with a quick, polite “No, I’m good,”—you’re not alone. That reflexive response doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t need support. It often means something else.
Sometimes it’s about pride or conditioning. Many of us have worked in environments where needing help was seen as weakness. For others—especially high performers or early-career employees—it’s about unrealistic self-expectations: I should already know this. I don’t want to take up space. I’ll figure it out on my own.
And sometimes, it’s simpler than that. We just don’t know what to ask for.
The good news? A few small shifts in how you ask can make a big difference. Here are two strategies that invite more honest, specific, and actionable answers from your team.
1. Swap “Do you need anything?” for “What’s one thing…?”
Instead of asking:
“Do you need anything from me?”
Try asking:
“What’s one thing I can do this week that would make this project easier for you?”
The difference might seem small, but it’s significant.
The first is a closed question. It’s easy to answer with “no,” even when “no” isn’t true. The second assumes that there is something—big or small—you can do to help. It’s open-ended, specific, and time-bound. It narrows their focus and prompts real reflection instead of a reflexive dismissal.
That phrasing signals partnership: We’re in this together, and I expect to play an active role in your success.
2. Offer a Menu of Support
The second strategy borrows from the Situational Leadership model—a tool we introduce in our Elevate Program.
Situational Leadership breaks support into two categories:
Directive behaviors: tangible, hands-on actions like setting timelines, clarifying roles, establishing SMART goals, or demonstrating how to do something.
Supportive behaviors: relationship-based actions like listening to concerns, problem-solving together, explaining the “why,” or coaching through challenges.
Both are valid forms of leadership. Different situations—and different people—require different blends of each.
When you share these options explicitly, you make it easier for your team to tell you what would actually help. For example:
“As you’re kicking off this project, let’s talk about what you’ll need from me to be successful. Would clearer timelines help? Structured check-ins? More context on the ‘why’? A sounding board to problem-solve along the way?”
Providing a menu of options reduces the stigma of “asking for help” and replaces it with clarity and choice. It also teaches your team how to think about support as a collaborative, strategic part of doing great work—not as a sign of weakness.
The Takeaway
Supporting people isn’t about asking once and hoping for honesty—it’s about creating conditions where honesty feels easy.
When we ask better questions and give clearer options, we don’t just make it easier for our people to get what they need. We build trust. We normalize asking for help. And we remind our teams that support isn’t a favor—it’s part of how high-performing groups operate.
That’s what elevating looks like in practice.
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