Before We Get to Work, We Ask Two Questions
Why “what’s up and what’s down” matters more than it sounds
I begin every team practice with two simple questions:
What’s up? And what’s down?
We’ve been doing this for a long time, and on the surface, it’s almost deceptively simple. But the more teams I work with, the more I’m convinced this small ritual does an enormous amount of work when it comes to trust, safety, and how people show up together.
Here’s why.
First, it teaches me a lot about people.
Without forcing anyone to share more than they want to. “What’s up” and “what’s down” can be about work or life or something in between. It might be a deadline, a win, a birthday, a promotion, a stressful week, or something that’s just lingering in the background. Over time, you naturally learn how people operate, what energizes them, what weighs on them, and what season they’re in. Personally, I find this especially helpful because I’m often only engaging with my participants once a week.
Second, it gives me a pulse check.
Before we dive into content, tools, or discussion, I get a real sense of where the room actually is mentally and emotionally. Are people stretched thin? Celebratory? Distracted? Processing something bigger than work? That information matters. It helps me lead more thoughtfully and adjust how we move through the conversation.
Third, it helps people arrive.
We all come into meetings carrying a million things. By simply naming what’s up or what’s down, people often get to set something down — at least temporarily. Instead of sitting in the meeting ruminating on whatever is pulling their attention, they’ve acknowledged it. And that small act can make it easier to be present.
Over time, though, the most profound impact is that this practice builds trust.
When people are given consistent space to be human — to name the things driving their emotions, whether good or hard — it creates safety. It signals that you don’t need to show up perfectly regulated or buttoned up to belong here. You just need to show up honestly.
It also humanizes leadership.
I’m not exempt from the check-in. I share my own ups and downs — the mundane, the joyful, the frustrating. My nephew crawling for the first time. Laundry I need to fold. That matters. When leaders model humanity, it lowers the bar for everyone else.
I wanted to call attention to this practice today because the impact stood out this week.
There was a lot happening in the world over the weekend. It was heavy for some people. During our check-ins, a few folks named that it was still sitting with them — that they were processing, that it felt like a lot. It wasn’t dwelled on. It wasn’t debated. It didn’t need to be fixed.
It was simply acknowledged.
Later, someone specifically called out how helpful that was — not because it solved anything, but because it created space to say, “This is where I’m at right now.”
And that’s the point.
The check-in isn’t about agreement.
It’s not about politics.
It’s not about having the right answer.
It’s about creating a container where people can name their internal state without judgment — and where the group can hold that information with care.
Ninety-five percent of the time, check-ins are light and easy. They build familiarity and intimacy. But at some point, everyone is deeply affected by something.
This practice gives teams a way to acknowledge that without forcing alignment or silence. That five percent of the time, the check-in becomes a way to show that we care about how our teammates are actually doing.
When we talk about building trust — especially on remote teams — we often assume it requires something big or elaborate. In reality, it’s usually the small, consistent practices that do the most work.
“What’s up and what’s down” is one of those practices.
It builds safety.
It builds awareness.
It builds trust — quietly, over time.
And in moments when there’s a lot going on, sometimes that’s exactly what teams need: a simple way to be human together.
